The Other Woman

I realized during this past week that perhaps I have turned into that hard-ass woman that I’ve despised all my life. As I’ve gotten older and more focused on my career, I have lost some of that softer edge that I used to have while growing up. While I profess to want to have children, I don’t want to have them at the expense of my career, nor do I want them to ever intrude on my hard earned independence. And dammit, they had better be perfect in all aspects. The rude awakening I had is that my husband fears that I will not care for our children, should we be lucky enough to have them, in the nurturing motherly way that they deserve. And that is indeed a rude awakening because I certainly don’t want to be thought as non-mother material. I resolve to balance by softer and harder edges, to have more compassion and to let that little tender softy in me emerge this year – I know it’s still in there somewhere. And, I hope that we will be blessed some day soon (this year??) with the pitter patter of little feet (whether of our own making or through adoption). I can’t wait.

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